Self Forgiveness

I walked with my head down.

My gaze sadly planted on my feet as I trotted through the crunching gravel. I couldn’t get my mind off of them; I couldn’t stop thinking about how they did me wrong. My heart was throbbing with hatred. I reflected on every cruel thing they did, every word of loathing they spoke, every hurtful action that was inflicted against  my skin. The very thought of their face made my blood boil and I despised them.

I dragged my feet along the rugged path and continued to stare downwards, not acknowledging the world around me. Everything seemed to fade into sadness and hate. All I wanted to do was have vengeance and closure for the anger and aggression building up inside of me. I needed revenge.

Crash!

I hit the floor and my head landed on the jagged ground. “Ow...” I mumbled in slight agony.

“My apologies!” A hushed voice whispered softly. I raised my head to see a young girl, who had soft blonde hair and glistening blue eyes.

 

The girl's hand reached out to me and she helped me stand. “Thanks” I quietly murmured and continued to walk. “You know it’s not good to hold all of those emotions in you” the girl eagerly spoke. I paused and averted my gaze onto her once more. “Pardon?” I questioned. She looked at me with a sad yet emotionless glare.

 “Look around, what do you see?” The girl asked calmly. I slowly turned my head to stare at the fields next to the gravel path.

 It was stunning. The flowers danced under relaxing sunset of the sky and the mesmerising sun was peering over the field. It immediately grabbed my attention and I thought...

“How did I not see this?”

The girl strode toward me and rested her hand on my shoulder.

“People can do very cruel and evil things, once they managed to get into your head everything feels sorrowful and negative. You even forget about all the beauty around you.” She sadly mumbled. I clenched my fists and she gently removed her hand off my shoulder. 

“You want revenge on those who did you wrong? Well, what happens after you do get revenge?” She asked. I looked at her confused and stared into her now disgruntled expression. I looked down at my hands and questioned my thoughts.

 “What would I gain from hurting them...I still won’t feel better” I thought irritated. 

“Forgive them” the girl sourly said.

My legs began to tremble. “How can I forgive the person who has done me wrong!” I angrily shouted, tears began to run done my cheeks. The girl glared unhappily at me and bellowed “just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you accept their actions, you forgive so your heart can move on and not give into hatred.”

I stared at her teary-eyed.

“They forced you into becoming someone who you know is not your best self” She declared furrowing her brows.

“To becomes your best self you need to show kindness to the unkind, show mercy to the merciless, give forgiveness to those who have done you wrong“ she said, my expression turned to a frown my eyes flooding with tears. 

“You must also know that you are not doing this because you are weak, but because you are strong” She softly spoke tears stinging her eyes.

“Strong enough to be happy again!” she cheered, smiling with blood-shot eyes.

 I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed. 

“Thank you! Thank you so much-“ I whispered.

by Olivia
Year 8